“Today at 12:11am my life changed..” that is how I started this blog off a year ago, and today is it no easier to write those words. My Grandmother passed away a year ago and she was the world to me, I miss her every single day, every single minute of the day. I hear people say “it will get easier”, and I’m not doubting they believe that but I have not experienced it at all this past year. I still find myself crying at the thought of her and speaking about her in the present. I say things like “My Grandmother says that all the time” or “My Grandmother is not going to like that”. I have not spoken about her in the past tense at all and I don’t think I can. I still have her cell phone number programmed in my phone, and when I call the house I expect her to pick up, but she never does. I usually go to see my grandparents every year around my birthday but this year I couldn’t go. I wanted to go but just the thought of walking into her house and her not saying “hey baby”, breaks my heart. It was a very rough weekend for me, and I am a little hurt that none of my close friends reached out to check on me. In my head I am mentally giving reason as to why they wouldn’t have checked on me but none of the reason are still good enough for me. Call me selfish, but I feel like this should be something they are aware of without me having to give a reminder–this is the first year of her death–not the 20th. But this isn’t about them, this post is about me remembering the best women I was thankful enough to have in my life. She was the one person I could talk to about anything with no judgments. My Grandmother gave love unconditionally to ANYONE, and would give her last to ANYONE, would help ANYONE–even those who have done her wrong–she believed in forgiveness. She believed her in faith 100% and lived by it 100%. I want to be a tenth of who she was as I grow in this world. The past year has changed so much, but I carry her in my heart and thoughts every day. I love you Grandma and I miss you!!!
~R.I.P. Grandma~
glamadventures 